I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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