tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize