Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
