Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
