i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
