Screwed.edu
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
