whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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