He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
