ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
