Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
