she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
