The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
