i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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