Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
whose parrot is this?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
