We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
