i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize