one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
