I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
