Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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