Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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