so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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