butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
