she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
