I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
