Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
