you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
