After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
