dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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