I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We need a shit load of segways right now
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
