Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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