it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
