Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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