So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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