Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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