You can't special order awesome
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
