just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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