there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
