Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
