Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
