put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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