yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
