do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
