I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
