white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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