why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
