we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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