i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
