Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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