I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
