babies were throwing up all over the place
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
