Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
