At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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