I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
