Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
